Clenched Fists

        She lay with her fists clenched, stretched and made tiny sounds.  Testing the limits of her abilities, this red new born with a head full of hair and closed eyes was beauty personified to her family.   Unknown to them, her clenched fists was a foreshadowing of her fate.  

        Throughout her childhood she defied all conventions and from an early age had, as her Dad said, “a mind of her own”.  She never accepted anything without questioning its purpose.  When her Dad would tell her to go to bed she would clench her little fist look up defiantly and ask why she had to go to bed, or why she had to eat all her food, or why she could not go outside, why, why, why.  It was the inevitable response to anything she did not want to do.  

        She continued this behavior in school, never accepting the authority of any teacher.  She always wanted to know the reason for everything that she was required to do.  She went through her school years with her fists clenched and a defiant look for anyone who tried to assert their authority over her.  This included her peers as well as adults, she would not meekly acquiesce to anyone’s demands.  She was defiant and often her clenched fist was used as a club to drive away the other kids who demanded her obedience.

        Her defiance was was seen as a sign of strength by her parents and as leadership by her peers.  As she explored the world and learned of the injustices and inhumanity of others she would become angry, clench her fists and wonder how others could be so intimidated by the power that demanded others to bend to their will. 

        In college she joined groups demanding social justice and attended protests against police brutality, hunger, war, higher taxes or any other action that caused her to clench her fists and ask why is it that way.  Her activist life made her happy but she was not fulfilled.  She felt that she needed to do more to help solve the inequities the world presented to her.

        Her family began to worry about her activities.  They warned that her defiance of convention and authority would lead to problems.  She clenched her fists and and told them she would do things her own way and did not need their advice nor their help.  She was dedicated to her activist life and could imagine no other way to live.

        She joined an international aid agency and soon was traveling around the world to some of the most dangerous and depressing places in the world.  She became an organizer helping groups who wanted to obtain justice and equality.  Her primary work was with women seeking civil rights in their homelands.

        That led her to Afghanistan.  In the midst of this war torn country she began working with women who wanted an education.  She soon became known as the woman with clenched fists.  She was adamant in her beliefs and unwavering in her courage to defy anyone who would deny women an education.

        One day as she was working at a school for women, a group of radical religionist entered the school and began beating the women yelling and telling them that God wanted them to cover themselves and serve their husbands, not learn foolish western ideas about mathematics or science.  In the midst of this uproar she entered with her fists clenched and that defiant look on her face.  Telling these men that women had every right to be exactly what they wanted to be.  Her anger and defiance was met with a clenched fist in the middle of her face.  She screamed and attacked the man who had hit her.  Suddenly a shot rang out! When the sound had died away and the smoke had dissipated she lay on the floor with her fists clenched and her heart stopped. 

        The women she had defended quietly surrounded her dead body.  As they viewed her their faces turned red, they stretched their arms to the scarves on their head uncovering their hair, making quiet sounds of anger and grief as they clenched their fists and asked why the world was full of injustice and wondered what they could do to change it.

The Princess of the Pond: An American Fairy Tale

 

       She was watching him carefully, her green body suspended in the water.  Her eyes were barely visible on the water line while her legs were extended and her webbed feet were inches above the bottom of the pond.  She had noticed him before and wondered why he made her feel the way he did.  He was a human after all and she saw plenty of humans as they searched for their lost balls in her pond.  But, this was the first one that interested her.  Maybe he was the one she was waiting for.  She had been told stories by the ancient toads of mysterious beginnings and omens portending her greatness.  She was the Princess of the pond, but the stories hinted at more. She was impatient to begin her life and this boy felt as if he might be part of it. 

        He stomped about the pond angrily searching for his special golf ball imbedded with gold leaf.  He had hooked his shot on the 7th tee and watched his ball sail into the pond next to the dark forest surrounding the golf course.  He was angry because this ball had been given to him just last week by his father.  His father wanted to reward his son’s dedication to golf (actually, to anything and since golf was the only thing, it had to do) and he had this ball made especially for his son’s sixteenth birthday.  He had won his first tournament the day after his birthday with the ball,  a truly unusual gift.  Unusual was important to him because the usual was so common and he deplored the commonplace.

Deep and dark inside of me

ready to discover

what I’m meant to be?

I wonder, wonder, wonder.

        She was motionless as he approached the spot where his ball was buried in the mud at the bottom of the pond.  He took his club and began to probe for the ball.  She moved toward him, when he noticed her approach, he spoke to her, “Hey puddle splasher, do you know where my ball is?”  

        She surprised them both when she replied, “Oh human one, I know well where it is, but what will you give me for your orb of gold?”

        They looked at one another with wonder, until the boy recovered his composure and said, “Get me my ball and I will take you to live at my father’s mansion where you shall want for nothing.”  He looked at her and waited for her reply thinking to himself, what beautiful legs, they look delicious.

        Her mother emerged from the woods and hopped up to his golf bag. 

     “Daughter dear, remember the promise of your greatness,  humans only destroy and if you go with him you will be destroyed, just like your father, killed by a golf ball at the hands of the uncaring humans.  I beg you to stay and be patient with your life.”

        “Mother, Mother I will go, you can not stop me now or ever, for I know my mind and have been promised that I will want for nothing.  Is that not what has been foretold for me, to want for nothing, to live as a queen.  Is that not what you are, the Queen.” replied her daughter.

        Staring into her daughters eyes the Queen spoke softly, “Indeed daughter of mine, promises have been made, a future has been foretold, and I am Queen of that which I know.  Go if you must, but the magic you possess is powerful and I know there will be a test.”

        “Hey, what are you two blabbing about, are you going to get my ball or do I have to go hire a backhoe and dig it out myself?” whined the young man while he swung his club in preparation for the next hole.  “If you are going with me get my ball and hop in the pocket of my bag so I can finish this round before dark.”

Get his ball and hop into the pocket she did, ready to begin a life of extravagance and joy.

**********************

        She soon discovered she had been deceived.  The boy’s idea of wanting for nothing was to give her all the flies she could eat.  He would bring bag after bag of dried flies, she remembered the fresh taste of flies on her tongue as she captured them at her mother’s pond.  She was trapped by her own decision.  This was not a place of joy,  she was so unhappy that she stopped talking to the boy.  He became angry and stopped visiting her at the pond in the mansion’s north wing on the second floor. There was plenty to do in her extravagantly furnished room where the pond was located, but she was alone and sat all day at the window staring at the world she missed.

        One day, after a long absence, the boy came to her room.  He looked at her and said, “Puddle splasher, I think I am ready to eat you.  You have stopped talking and that was the most uncommon thing about you.  Now the most uncommon thing is your big fat legs.  Tonight I am going to have them for dinner.”  

        When she heard these words she became angry.  Truly angry for the first time in her life.  Until now she had thought things would get better, but now she realized what a stupid little princess she had been and was angry at herself for not listening to her mother.  She was so angry smoke began to come out of her ears. She felt like she was being boiled.  Her body changed from green to red.  As she gazed at the boy she spoke these dark words from deep within her. 

“You silly fool, 

I am not here for you to eat,

but to find out what makes me great,

I know now that what I want 

is for you to become as me 

and learn to hop.”  

        As soon as she uttered the curse, the boy became a big, dark green, handsome bull frog sitting next to her on the floor.  She quickly hopped out the open door and he followed, out of the house, across the lawn, and eventually they arrived at her mother’s pond.  There was her Mother sitting on a lilly pad in the middle of the pond.  Next to her were the ancient toads and all the frogs of the pond watching as the two newcomers approached.  When the toads realized who it was, they began to sing.

  

“Hail O Princess, 

Hail to thee, 

Welcome Home, 

What is it you will be?”

        The princess and the new frog jumped into the water and swam to the lilly pad next to the Queen.  

The princess announced to all, 

I have returned and plan to stay,  

for this is where my greatness lay, 

not in the human world, 

for sure that is a terrible place to stay. 

The magic in me is becoming strong and 

I have brought a human who is now a frog  

She realized there was much to learn about how to handle her magic, but right now she had a lot to teach this new frog who would become the King when her mother retired and they became the rulers of the pond.  

               The new frog sat on his lilly pad and thought to himself, “This is truly unusual.”  He sighed and jumped into the water to test his webbed feet wondering to himself, “If I eat frog’s legs, am I a cannibal?  

               As far as I know, they are still there to this day, living a life of extravagance and joy together.

 

 

Albert: The Dancer With One Hand

   

 Once there was a young man and a young woman who loved each other so much that they conceived a child outside the sanctity of marriage. They were overjoyed with their child and named him Albert. He was a beautiful child who was born with a deformity. He had no right hand. This did not matter to the young couple who loved Albert and treated him as if he were whole.The young couple had to work hard to make ends meet and because they begantheir family earlier than most it was more difficult. This did not bother them as they knew their love and confidence in their future would see them through the difficult times.

And slowly but surely they began to accumulate small comforts and join the middle class of their community. Albert was not aware of the problems his early arrival had caused because it did not matter to his mother and father who spent their free time together as a family.

 As Albert grew he learned to love dancing because it made him feel whole. At night before bed his Mother and Father would watch him dance and laugh and applaud as he twirled and jumped in front of them. He truly loved the way it felt to spin and balance his body first on one foot and then another. He loved the beat of the music andthe way his body felt as it throbbed inside him.

When he started to school other kids would stare at his missing hand and sometimes they would make remarks that were not very nice. Albert knew he was different and didnʼt care what they thought about his hand. It didnʼt keep him from dancing and that was what mattered to him. But, as he grew older the other kids beganto notice that he didnʼt play sports and when music was playing Albert would spin andtwirl around. The other boys called him a girl with no hand and laughed at him. Albert ignored their laughing and teasing and when he was at home his mother and father loved him and he knew he was whole.

Then one day when Albert was in the fifth grade he was called out of class to see the principal. There in the principalʼs office sat his father who looked very sad and had tears in his eyes. He told Albert that they needed to go home and when they were in the car he told Albert his mother had been in an automobile accident and was on her

way to heaven. Albert did not know what to think could only look straight ahead and think about his mother and how much she loved his dancing and how much he would miss her.

As time went by and Albert and his father learned how to live without the love of their lives. At first Albert could not dance through his sadness, but his father reminded him how much his mother loved his dancing and how sad she would be if he stopped dancing. So, he began to dance again and found that it eased the pain of missing his

Mother and made him feel whole again.

  

After a while Albert realized his father was dating. At first he was hurt, mostly because his Father spent less time with him, but he was growing older and understood his father needed to have other people in his life. Albert had some friends and he still loved to dance. He was becoming very good at dancing and in his dance classes he

was the only boy. The boys in school still teased him and called him a girl with no hand but,   he loved dancing so much that it still did not matter to him what they said. When he

was dancing he was a whole Albert.

 When Albert was in eigth grade his father remarried. Albertʼs stepmother had two boys of her own who were one year and two years older than him. They called Albert a girl with no hand and teased him like the other kids at school. Now home was no longer a safe place for Albert. Not only did his Dad remarry,  his new wife wanted a bigger house, a newer car and more expensive things in the house. So, Albertʼs Father took a

job as a traveling salesman. Now he was gone all the time. Albertʼs stepmother and stepbrothers did not pay any attention to him and his home was no longer filled with love. Albert no longer felt whole.

He began going for long walks in the desert outside his community. He would watch the sunset, imagine music in his head, and dance. He would stand on a hill overlooking the Rio Puerco and twirl and jump until the sun was gone. Then he would feel whole. When he got home he went straight to his bedroom to stay away from the

people who lived in his house. He began to look for a way to leave home and began to  apply to dance schools. Even though he wasnʼt yet old enough to drive, he wished thathe could leave home and feel whole.

    

One evening while he was twirling and jumping to the sunset he heard a mournful howl, as if an animal was in pain. When he began looking around he came to a deep arroyo full of cactus and saw a coyote who had tried to run between cactus that were too close together. The coyote was trapped so that when he moved it caused him

to howl in pain. Albert walked right down to the coyote and not even thinking the coyote might be dangerous he began pulling the cactus away from the coyote. This caused his fingers and stump to bleed but he persisted until the coyote was free.

The coyote jumped away from the cactus and turned to look at Albert. He said, “You are the dancing boy with one hand. You have given us much joy with your sunset performances.” Albert was dumfounded that the coyote could talk, he could only nod his head in agreement. The coyote looked him in the eye and continued, “You are a very brave boy to set me free in this manner. I am so grateful that I will give you a wish.”

Albert thought the only thing he truly wanted was to have his house be full of love and figured that if his step mom got some money this would make her happy and then they would all be happy. So he said, “Let me have some money to make my stepmother happy.” The coyote turned around and ran away and at Albertʼs feet was a fat wallet. He picked it up and put it in his pocket then ran home to give it to his stepmother. When he got home he handed her the wallet and explained what had happened. Instead of being happy she looked in the wallet and said, “There is only $1000 in here. How could this make me happy. This is nothing. Certainly that coyoteʼs freedom is worth more than a measly thousand dollars. Go back to the arroyo and ask him for more, tell him I want $10,000.”

   

Albert was not sure he could find the coyote and he was certain his request would not make the coyote happy.  He knew how unhappy he would be if he didnʼt at least try to do what his stepmother asked. He returned to the Arroyo and in the fullness of the moon he called for the coyote. He called and called and to his surprise he heard, “What do you want Albert?” There was the coyote standing right in front of him his eyes reflecting the moonlight. Albert explained his predicament and told the coyote what his stepmother had said. “Tsk, Tsk”, said the coyote. “You must be living in a terrible home, why donʼt you ask something for yourself?”

    

Albert explained that all he wanted was a happy home and the freedom to dance. If his stepmother was happy he would be happy. The coyote ran away and there at Albertʼs feet was a big fat wallet stuffed with money.

He ran home as quickly as he could and gave his stepmother the money. This time she looked at the money carefully and was quiet for some time. The she looked at Albert and said, “If he gave you $10,000 he will give you more. Go back and tell him you want as much as he can give you.”

    

This did not make Albert happy, but he walked back to the Arroyo and called for the coyote one more time. When the coyote appeared this time he was not very happy, his eyes were now pools of darkness. “What is it this time?”, he asked in a very annoyed tone of voice.

   

 Albert told him that his stepmother wanted all that he would give. The coyote looked at him and went, “tsk, tsk.” Then the coyote ran away and this time there was no wallet just an envelope at Albertʼs feet. When Albert picked it up he saw that it was from the dance school he was wished to attend. He opened the envelope and there was

letter telling him to come immediately. AHis tuition, room, board, spending money, and a plane ticket would all be covered by a scholarship.

    

His joy was unbounded, he ran home and entered the home. His stepmother asked what had happened and he told her that nothing had happened there was not another wallet and there was no money. She began cursing and screaming at him and soon her sons had joined in the fray.

    

Albert did not care, he went to his room packed his bag and left the home that nolonger contained any love. He never returned and became renowned as the dancerwith one hand. When he had child he taught him to dance and filled his home with love.